Summer Series 5: Emotions Are Your Brain’s GPS: Helping Neurodivergent Kids Navigate Big Feelings
Emotions First, Regulation Later: Understanding Neurodivergent Emotional Processing
Our brains are wired for emotion before anything else. Long before we can talk, plan, or problem-solve, our emotional processing systems are fully online. For neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, or executive functioning challenges—emotions often feel bigger, faster, and harder to manage.
Ever notice your child goes from zero to sixty emotionally in seconds? That’s not misbehavior—it’s biology.
Emotions are your body’s built-in GPS. When we learn to tune in, name them, and understand what they’re pointing us toward, we can transform big feelings into powerful guides.
This Skill Set Targets:
- Intense emotions and emotional dysregulation
- Impulsivity and difficulty with self-control
- Social skills and perspective-taking
- Problem-solving and conflict resolution
“Name It to Tame It”: The First Step to Regulation
Did you know that humans all over the world share six core emotions? These emotions are universal and hardwired:
- Happy
- Sad
- Angry
- Fear
- Surprise/Shock
- Disgust
When children use clear, basic emotion words instead of vague ones like “upset” or “mad,” it gives their brain a better roadmap for what to do next. Start practicing emotional literacy by naming the emotion out loud, then ask:
“How big is that feeling right now? Let’s rate it from 0 to 10.”
You can also model by labeling emotions in yourself as well as fictional characters::
- Yourself: “I feel sad right now. I think I need a break.”
- Your child: “It seems like you’re feeling angry—maybe a 7?”
- Fictional characters: “What do you think she felt in that moment?”
Boosting Inner Self-Talk for Better Reflection
Many children with ADHD and similar profiles experience a delay in developing self talk — the voice in your head that helps you reflect, reason, and pause before acting. That’s why increasing external self-talk can help regulate emotions and reduce impulsivity.
After labeling an emotion, try asking open-ended reflection questions:
- “What do you think made her/them/you feel that way?”
- “What do you think they/you want to do now?”
- “Is that something that will help or hurt?”
This kind of dialogue builds emotional insight, problem solving and executive functioning skills over time.
Link Emotions to Motivation: What Is This Feeling Telling Me?
Each emotion gives us a biological message about what we need or what action we should take:
| Emotion | Message |
| Sadness | You may need comfort, closeness, or a break |
| Anger | Something feels unfair or threatening—defend or set a boundary |
| Fear | You feel unsafe—gather more info, seek safety or support |
| Surprise/Shock | Pause and assess—something unexpected happened |
| Disgust | Avoid or move away from something potentially harmful |
| Happiness | Move toward connection, play, or enjoyment |
Try asking:
- “What do you think your sadness is telling you you need?”
- “What might that character do next, based on the emotion they were feeling?”
This step helps children translate emotion into action, increasing both motivation and emotional intelligence.
Final Thoughts: Emotions Aren’t the Problem—They’re the Map!
At our practice, we help neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults understand that emotions aren’t bad—they’re information. With the right tools and support, these emotions become stepping stones toward self-awareness, resilience, and connection.
If your child struggles with impulsivity, meltdowns, or social misunderstandings, you’re not alone. These strategies are a starting point—but sometimes individualized support makes all the difference.
Reach out for personalized emotional regulation coaching or support—we’re here to help your child thrive. Call 248-220-3332 or follow the link to make an appointment https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/
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