Men’s Mental Health Resource Guide
Category: <span>Mental Wellness</span>
Fuel Your Fire: Prevent and Recover from Burnout Using Emotional Intelligence and Self-Compassion
Burnout isn’t just “being tired.” It’s a full-body, full-mind experience that can drain your energy, dull your motivation, and make even the work you once loved feel overwhelming. In fact, between 30–75% of people worldwide report experiencing burnout at some point. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Am I just exhausted, or am I burning out?” — you’re not alone.
What Exactly Is Burnout?
Burnout is more than stress. It’s a recognized syndrome caused by chronic stress associated with a particular role (e.g., job, caregiving) that isn’t successfully managed. It typically shows up in three dimensions:
- Exhaustion – feeling drained, depleted, and unable to recharge.
- Depersonalization – becoming detached, cynical, or negative about your work.
- Reduced Accomplishment – feeling ineffective, unmotivated, or like you’re failing.
Left unchecked, burnout impacts not only your work, but your physical health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.
Spotting the Warning Signs
Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks up on us through gradual signs:
- Physical: disrupted sleep, low energy, changes in appetite, unexplained aches/pains.
- Behavioral: procrastination, reduced productivity and efficiency, withdrawal from responsibilities.
- Emotional/Mental: irritability, cynicism, brain fog, emotional exhaustion.
Noticing these signals early is key to preventing burnout from taking over.
Why Do We Burn Out?
The causes often come from two sides:
- Work Factors: overwhelming workload, lack of values match with job or role, lack of control, unfair treatment, low rewards, and/or disconnection from community, distressing work tasks
- Self Factors: tying self-worth to productivity and work identity, valuing self-sacrifice as a personal ideal, self-blame and low self-empathy, and/or struggling to balance other roles and responsibilities in life.
Interestingly, those who care the most — helpers, teachers, healthcare providers, parents, and leaders — are at highest risk for burnout.
Fighting Back: Emotional Intelligence as Your GPS
Emotions are not the enemy. In fact, they act like an internal GPS guiding us toward what we need. By practicing emotional intelligence (EI), you can learn to:
- Recognize and label your emotions accurately. We only have 6-8 basic emotions! Sure, we have thousands of descriptions for subtle differences in each emotion, but if we can label the core emotion accurately, this is very powerful.
- Understand how emotions link to motivation and action. Each of our basic emotion states links to specific motivational states and behaviors. For example, happiness links to a desire to keep doing the thing that is making us happy. Sadness links to rest, recouping the loss and connecting to others. As you learn emotion-motivation-action linking, emotions are far less overwhelming.
- Use emotions as guideposts for action and direction. Putting all the information together, we can make an action plan that points us in the direction of getting our actual needs and wants met in a healthy way – whether that means resting, seeking support, or setting boundaries.
When you tune into your emotions, they stop being roadblocks and start being signals that point you back toward balance.
The Secret Weapon: Mindful Self-Compassion
One of the most powerful antidotes to burnout is treating yourself with the same compassion you give to others. This means:
- Permission: Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your limits. Allow yourself to be as kind to YOU as you are to others.
- Mindfulness: Practice being fully present without judgment or distraction. Daily sensory mindfulness practices are a great way to cultivate this ability. .
- Common Humanity: Remember, burnout is a shared human experience, not a personal failing. We are all flawed and we all make mistakes.
- Self-Compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with care, understanding, and patience. Notice self-critical thoughts. Imagine your friend was saying these things about themself. How would you respond to that friend – now turn that empathy and compassion inward.
Simple daily practices — like repeating a mantra (“My work is important, and so am I”), mindful breathing, or noticing and reframing negative self-talk — can help you rebuild resilience.
Creating Your Burnout Recovery Plan
Recovering from burnout isn’t about powering through — it’s about addressing work and self factors, so you can realign your approach to work with your values and daily capacity. A strong recovery plan includes:
- Addressing workplace factors with a practical, solution-focused approach.
- Building emotional intelligence to listen to your internal GPS.
- Practicing mindful self-compassion daily to stay grounded and resilient.
Burnout isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a signal — and when you listen with compassion and curiosity, you can use it as a turning point toward healthier, more sustainable ways of working and living.
The PDA Puzzle: What is Pathological Demand Avoidance and how do we manage it?
Do everyday tasks — like brushing teeth, getting dressed, or household chores — sometimes feel like major uphill battles? Sometimes it’s children pushing back against tasks and routines; other times it’s adults facing the very same challenges at work, at home, or in relationships. If this sounds familiar, it doesn’t mean you or your child are “difficult” or “lazy.” Instead, PDA reflects a very real difference in how the brain processes stress, autonomy, and expectations.
Research has shown that while occasional avoidance is a normal human behavior, some individuals, both children and adults, experience extreme anxiety when faced with everyday demands. This can trigger intense resistance, withdrawal, or even intense emotional reactions. These patterns are known as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a profile of emotional and behavioral responses often seen in individuals who are neurodivergent.
PDA has become a bit of a buzzword on the internet lately. You may have heard it discussed in a Tik Tok or Instagram Reel. But what, really, is PDA? How does it develop? And how do we manage it?
Understanding PDA can help families, teachers, bosses and individuals themselves respond with greater empathy, flexibility, and effective support—so everyday life feels less like a battle and more like a team effort.
What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
PDA is a pattern of emotional and behavioral responses, but not an actual diagnosis on its own. Although it is common to experience this pattern as part of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), not all neurodivergent individuals experience PDA, and not all individuals who experience PDA are neurodivergent. In short, PDA can be experienced as part of ASD or other neurodiverse diagnoses, but can also be a stand alone pattern.
Typically, PDA is characterized by intense avoidance of completing a task (or tasks) that we have the skills and abilities to do, because it is perceived to be a demand or even request. But we must back up and look at what happens before the intense avoidance, because important cognitive (thinking) and emotional patterns happen first.
Why does PDA develop?
Neurodivergent individuals can experience inflexible patterns of thinking and behaviors, which means they struggle to adapt to change or new information. In addition, neurodivergent individuals may have a difficult time with social communication and understanding social cues. Layer in sensory processing challenges often experienced by neurodivergent individuals, and you get the perfect recipe for overwhelm.
Difficulties with inflexible thinking, adaptation to change, challenges with social communication and sensory overload are brewing under the PDA patterns. They make it hard to understand where a demand came from, and often demands can feel like they came out of nowhere. This creates an uptick in anxiety and rigidity, that then triggers avoidance behaviors and sometimes emotional escalation.
Another common underlying factor fueling PDA is poor executive functioning. Difficulties in executive functioning typically make it harder for individuals to track schedules or structures, especially in social environments. Even seemingly small tasks or chores can feel intensely overwhelming when an individual can’t plan the steps or ‘see’ the end of the task. This overwhelm often incites feelings of anxiety and irritation, causing an individual to throw up barriers and avoid these tasks.
Recommendations for moving through PDA
A collaborative approach to problem solving, highlighting effective communication is a key part for working through PDA. Oftentimes, neurodivergent individuals, children and adults, require more direct communication about expectations, but this can have the opposite effect for those who experience PDA. Here are three tricks for figuring out the PDA puzzle.
1. Sneak in choices, not commands
Make tasks a collaboration. Instead of saying “go put your shoes on” try saying, “red or blue shoes today?” Demands tend to make an individual with PDA shut down the task immediately, but by framing it as a choice, we feel less pressure.
2. Bend don’t break
Not every hill is the hill to die on. Pick your battles carefully. More flexibility on your end, will lead to less anxiety and resistance to fuel PDA. This also means when supporting a loved one, a child or partner with PDA, regulating your own emotional reaction to their PDA patterns is key.
3. Connection first
Focus on being a team first. Individuals who exhibit PDA patterns also often have areas of intense interest. Join in their world and understand their motivations by incorporating their special interests into tasks. This will increase their internal motivation to complete the task and they will feel more validated and understood. If an individual who experiences PDA is comfortable, they are more likely to meet you half-way.
Conclusion
PDA can make getting daily tasks done feel like climbing a mountain. But you are not alone in this feeling, and you do not have to face this challenge alone. Treatment for PDA behaviors focuses on addressing thought patterns, increasing flexible thinking, and building adaptive skills. We can help you put together an individualized treatment plan to address these challenges. Call our office at 248-220-3332 or make an appointment today with the link below.
Summer Series 5: Emotions Are Your Brain’s GPS: Helping Neurodivergent Kids Navigate Big Feelings
Emotions First, Regulation Later: Understanding Neurodivergent Emotional Processing
Our brains are wired for emotion before anything else. Long before we can talk, plan, or problem-solve, our emotional processing systems are fully online. For neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, or executive functioning challenges—emotions often feel bigger, faster, and harder to manage.
Ever notice your child goes from zero to sixty emotionally in seconds? That’s not misbehavior—it’s biology.
Emotions are your body’s built-in GPS. When we learn to tune in, name them, and understand what they’re pointing us toward, we can transform big feelings into powerful guides.
This Skill Set Targets:
- Intense emotions and emotional dysregulation
- Impulsivity and difficulty with self-control
- Social skills and perspective-taking
- Problem-solving and conflict resolution
“Name It to Tame It”: The First Step to Regulation
Did you know that humans all over the world share six core emotions? These emotions are universal and hardwired:
- Happy
- Sad
- Angry
- Fear
- Surprise/Shock
- Disgust
When children use clear, basic emotion words instead of vague ones like “upset” or “mad,” it gives their brain a better roadmap for what to do next. Start practicing emotional literacy by naming the emotion out loud, then ask:
“How big is that feeling right now? Let’s rate it from 0 to 10.”
You can also model by labeling emotions in yourself as well as fictional characters::
- Yourself: “I feel sad right now. I think I need a break.”
- Your child: “It seems like you’re feeling angry—maybe a 7?”
- Fictional characters: “What do you think she felt in that moment?”
Boosting Inner Self-Talk for Better Reflection
Many children with ADHD and similar profiles experience a delay in developing self talk — the voice in your head that helps you reflect, reason, and pause before acting. That’s why increasing external self-talk can help regulate emotions and reduce impulsivity.
After labeling an emotion, try asking open-ended reflection questions:
- “What do you think made her/them/you feel that way?”
- “What do you think they/you want to do now?”
- “Is that something that will help or hurt?”
This kind of dialogue builds emotional insight, problem solving and executive functioning skills over time.
Link Emotions to Motivation: What Is This Feeling Telling Me?
Each emotion gives us a biological message about what we need or what action we should take:
| Emotion | Message |
| Sadness | You may need comfort, closeness, or a break |
| Anger | Something feels unfair or threatening—defend or set a boundary |
| Fear | You feel unsafe—gather more info, seek safety or support |
| Surprise/Shock | Pause and assess—something unexpected happened |
| Disgust | Avoid or move away from something potentially harmful |
| Happiness | Move toward connection, play, or enjoyment |
Try asking:
- “What do you think your sadness is telling you you need?”
- “What might that character do next, based on the emotion they were feeling?”
This step helps children translate emotion into action, increasing both motivation and emotional intelligence.
Final Thoughts: Emotions Aren’t the Problem—They’re the Map!
At our practice, we help neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults understand that emotions aren’t bad—they’re information. With the right tools and support, these emotions become stepping stones toward self-awareness, resilience, and connection.
If your child struggles with impulsivity, meltdowns, or social misunderstandings, you’re not alone. These strategies are a starting point—but sometimes individualized support makes all the difference.
Reach out for personalized emotional regulation coaching or support—we’re here to help your child thrive. Call 248-220-3332 or follow the link to make an appointment https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/
Pride: 6 Ways to Engage in Radical Resistance through Self-Care
During this month, we celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community, identity, joy, and resilience. To acknowledge Pride, we must also acknowledge the significant struggles the LGBTQIA+ community continues to face- struggles that persist well beyond the month of celebrations and festive parades.
Due to ongoing discrimination, LGBTQIA+ individuals experience mental health challenges at significantly higher rates than their cisgender, heterosexual peers. LGBTQIA+ individuals, especially those who are trans, nonbinary, BIPOC, disabled, or have cross sectional identities, face disproportionate mental health challenges. These include:
- Increased risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation
- High rates of rejection from family, school, or faith communities
- Barriers to affirming mental health care and safe housing
- Constant code-switching or self-monitoring in unsafe spaces
These ongoing challenges are exhausting to manage on a daily basis. So, how can you combat these daily obstacles to living your best authentic life? One way is by practicing self-care focused on rest, self-love, and re-energizing yourself.
Self-care has become a hashtag seen all over social media. We often reduce it to spa days, scented candles, and trips to the ice cream store. But for LGBTQIA+ individuals, self-care can be a deeply personal act of survival, resistance, and restoration. Living authentically in a society that often denies your existence takes tremendous energy and willpower. Daily life may include navigating microaggressions, discrimination, family rejection, or outright hostility—both in public and online. Standard self-care advice often overlooks these realities.
Self-care for queer and trans people must consider identity, expression, and community.
Here are inclusive and identity-affirming self-care practices for LGBTQIA+ individuals—or anyone supporting them through allyship.
1. Focus on Your Joy Without Guilt
In a world that profits from shame, choosing to take up space and celebrate yourself is an act of defiance and joy.
Try:
- Making a playlist of queer artists who energize you
- Wearing clothing that affirms your gender or style
- Reconnecting with affirming memories, chosen family, or your coming-out journey
- Celebrating personal milestones (e.g., name change anniversary, first Pride)
2. Set and Honor Your Boundaries
Your body is yours — and so is your right to rest, move, say no, or disconnect for a while.
Try:
- Setting boundaries with unsupportive people — even if they’re family
- Creating a “safe zone” in your home with affirming sensory cues; images, items, and scents
- Practicing movement that feels empowering (walking, dancing, stretching)
- Saying “no” without over-explaining your reasons. You don’t owe people explanations for needing a mental health break.
3. Connect With Your Chosen Family and Community
Connect with the LGBTQIA+ community or your chosen family — the friends, mentors, and partners who love and affirm you.
Try:
- Organizing low-pressure check-ins with queer friends
- Hosting a queer book club or hangouts
- Celebrating holidays or birthdays with your chosen community
- Reaching out, even when it’s hard — someone likely needs you too
- Connect with safe, supportive members of the community of LGBTQ folks in your city, college campus, faith organization, or online friend/support group.
4. Channel Creativity and Expression
Spend time fostering your creativity and your individual expression to celebrate yourself!
Try:
- Writing poetry or journaling about your lived experience
- Creating visual art or playlists that express your truth
- Dressing in ways that align with your inner self, regardless of norms
- Consuming art from and with others you feel aligned with
5. Rest as Resistance
In a culture that tells LGBTQIA+ people to always fight or “hustle” for respect and basic dignity, rest becomes radical.
Try:
- Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing
- Listening to your body without guilt or self-judgment
- Creating a regular “do nothing” ritual — without needing to feel as if you need to “earn” it
- Sleeping in
- Turning your phone off or set to Do Not Disturb for as long as you need. Letting the world wait until you are ready.
6. Reach out for professional support
Due to the daily challenges and potential for burnout, it can be helpful to seek professional support from mental health providers who offer affirming care and guidance on how to move beyond survival mode.
Prioritize:
- Making an appointment with a therapist (if you already have one).
- Beginning the journey of seeking therapy, utilize resources that are vetted for the LGBTQIA+ community
- office@mbh-mi.com
- https://lgbtqhealthcaredirectory.org/
- https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/
- Connecting with a crisis counselor through TrevorChat
Conclusion
Queer-affirming self-care should not be viewed as a luxury- it can be life-saving. It’s not always pretty or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it may look like crying in the shower, ghosting toxic people, or quietly affirming your worth in the mirror. Wherever you are in your journey — out, closeted, questioning, healing, surviving, affirming — you deserve care that sees all of you. You are worthy of rest, joy, and love all year long-not just during the month of June. But regardless, Happy Pride- a month to celebrate YOU.
Recognizing Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorders
There are so many pressures that come with being a new parent. It often feels like there’s an expectation for things to ‘come naturally’ and be filled with overwhelming joy and love. The reality of bringing a new life into the world is filled with tectonic physical changes and intense emotions of all kinds. This can make it difficult to talk about maternal mental health, as most moms feel the pressures of stigma surrounding their less-than-perfect experience. During May, which is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, we want to establish a new normal; one in which all parents can openly acknowledge both amazing and challenging aspects of parenthood, and advocate for individuals who experience perinatal mood or anxiety disorders.
Pressures of Parenthood
The transition to parenthood is challenging in one way or another for almost everyone. So many changes happen during this time: sleep, relationships, work, schedules, and other areas of life can have significant shifts. It can be hard to know what a ‘normal adjustment’ is when you are feeling tired and overwhelmed as you adapt to these big changes. Feelings of shame or embarrassment can come up if the transition feels harder than you expected or if you’re not feeling the “glow” of new parenthood that is often romanticized in our society. However, it is normal to feel this way, and you are not alone in this.
We tend to be hard on ourselves and put the blame on a lack of something inside us rather than realizing the struggles could be an indication of a medical condition and not a sign of failure. Additionally, each person’s experience of parenthood is unique. For some, bonds and adjustment come fairly easily, while for others, it may be more difficult. Neither of these experiences are the “right” one.
The intensity of these changes and the onslaught of emotion and pressure can make it difficult to recognize when a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD) is present, so it is important to know the signs and symptoms, and the differences from normal ‘baby blues.’
Baby blues vs perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD)
Research shows up to 80% of new parents experience some mood swings and weepiness during the first 2-3 weeks of parenthood. This is often labeled “the baby blues” and will resolve without any medical assistance.
Up to 20% of women can continue to struggle past this period and experience more significant symptoms of depression during their pregnancy or postpartum period. About 6% of pregnant women and about 10% of postpartum women have anxiety, intrusive repetitive thoughts, panic, or post-traumatic stress. Sometimes women experience anxiety alone, but others can experience both anxiety and depression during this period. Postpartum Psychosis, where the mother’s thoughts are significantly altered and often scary, occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries. The media often calls postpartum psychosis depression, but it is a separate and unique illness. Any of these reactions can also occur with miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, or infant loss.
When someone starts to feel sad, worried, or not interested in activities that used to bring them joy, and experience several other symptoms (discussed next) they may be experiencing PMAD. You may feel more irritable, agitated, or overwhelmed rather than sad or nervous. Other symptoms might include insomnia or sleeping most of the time, appetite changes, restlessness, feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, difficulty concentrating, and physical symptoms such as dizziness, rapid heartbeat, or aches and pains that last beyond typical recovery from birth.
Risk factors for PMAD include a personal or family history of anxiety or depression, previous depression or anxiety, or thyroid imbalance. When symptoms move to this level of intensity seeking outside support is important and there are many research backed treatments that work very well.
Comparison of Baby Blues vs. PMAD
| Baby Blues | PMAD | |
| When it starts | After birth (can start while at the hospital) | During pregnancy or up to one year postpartum |
| How long it lasts | A few days, up to three weeks | Longer than three weeks |
| Typical symptoms | Mood is generally happy or calm with bouts of moodiness, tearfulness, anxiety and/or sadness
Trouble concentrating |
Mood predominantly sad, anxious, or irritable with some of the following symptoms: scary thoughts, hopelessness, feelings of guilt, problems sleeping, fatigue, loss of interest in activities typically enjoyed, changes in appetite, trouble making decisions or trouble concentrating |
When to seek help
Consider reaching out for help if your emotions make it difficult to:
- Parent effectively
- Take care of yourself effectively (including getting enough sleep or eating well)
- Perform daily tasks or complete work tasks
Other important signs you should reach out for help:
- Thinking about hurting yourself or your child
- Feeling like you are often reexperiencing a traumatic birth experience, pregnancy loss or other past traumatic event
- Frequent bouts of crying
- Feeling hopeless or worthless
- Experiencing persistent scary thoughts such as your baby being harmed or you harming your baby
- Worrying that you are “losing your mind” or “going crazy”
- Feeling like you have not been able to bond with your child and/or you are not fit to be a parent
Conclusion
Perinatal mood or anxiety disorders are temporary and treatable with professional help for both moms and dads. The transition to parenthood is tough on us all but if it reaches a level described above it’s important to reach out for help. Treatment typically includes some combination of increased and targeted self-care, social support, therapy, and/or treatment of symptoms with medication when necessary.
Self-care is aimed at increasing resilience during a time in which so much mental and physical burden is placed upon you. It includes proper rest, good nutrition, assistance with baby and other children, and caring for personal needs such as exercise, relaxation, or time with partner/spouse. Building up your support team for a wide range of supports is important during this time. Talking with a counselor or therapist who understands perinatal mental health disorders can be extremely beneficial. There are several research backed treatments that can help you improve your mood, cope more effectively during the transition to parenthood, and develop the relationship with your child(ren) and partner that you want.
Resources:
Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/
World Maternal Mental Health Day – May 7, 2025: https://wmmhday.postpartum.net/
Pine Rest Mother and Baby Day Program: https://www.pinerest.org/day-programs/mother-baby-program/
Pine Rest Resource: Understanding PMAD: https://www.pinerest.org/media/Understanding-PMAD.pdf
University of Michigan Women and Infants Mental Health Program: https://medicine.umich.edu/dept/psychiatry/programs/women-infants-mental-health
Zero to Thrive Clinic: https://zerotothrive.org/clinical-services/perinatal-psychiatry-clinic/
Book recommendation: Mom Brain, Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Mom-Brain-Strategies-Overwhelming-Motherhood/dp/1462540260
Resources in the Community
Nature’s Playhouse: https://www.naturesplayhouse.com/
Honey for Moms: https://www.honeyformoms.com/
Scarff JR. Postpartum Depression in Men. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience. 2019 May 1;16(5-6):11-14. PMID: 31440396; PMCID: PMC6659987.
Kim P, Swain JE. Sad dads: paternal postpartum depression. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2007 Feb;4(2):35-47. PMID: 20805898; PMCID: PMC2922346.
Transitions on the Spectrum
Spring is a time of transitions and new beginnings. For high school seniors, it brings the end of their secondary education, and often, the transition to college or jobs. For seniors on the Autism Spectrum, it can be a time of both excitement and celebration, as well as one of potential anxiety and uncertainty. Fortunately, with planning and preparation, worries can be reduced and celebrations enjoyed more thoroughly.
Marking the Transition
These transitions are typically marked with milestone celebrations such as graduation ceremonies and parties. For an individual with ASD, large crowds, loud noises, and the need to sit still in one place for extended periods of time can be challenging. Pre-planning strategies to manage sensory overload, anxiety, and fatigue during these milestone celebrations is key. Can they wear ear buds or noise dampening/canceling headphones? If there will be long stretches of time between meals, is there a way to pack a snack? Is there a comfort object or fidget that might help the sitting and waiting feel less stressful? Is it possible to sit near an aisle where getting up and taking a break would be more feasible? Will your son or daughter want to take pictures before the ceremony, after, or on a different day?
When it comes to graduation parties, don’t assume that your child will or won’t want a party. Discuss expectations for the number of guests, the foods served, and how social you want your child to be at the part. This is their first time around celebrating this milestone, and discussing expectations will leave more room for joy. It may also be useful to pre-plan breaks or “calm down” areas if the party extends over what is a typical interval of interaction time for your child. Would a different type of celebration altogether be more enjoyable–be willing to think outside the box. Finally, make sure to discuss expectations with siblings and extended family members who may also be joining in celebrating your senior.
Transitioning to College
If your son or daughter is transitioning to college, planning ahead is also important. Some teenagers think they will automatically acquire a certain level of responsibility, initiative or skill just by becoming a “college student.” Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case. Whether it’s six months ahead or six weeks ahead or maybe just 6 days ahead, have discussions about what life skills are needed to be successful at college above and beyond the academic demands and start practicing. If they don’t know how to already, teaching your child how to do laundry, how to cook some basic meals, how to manage basic finances (including setting up a bank account that a parent has access to as well), and how to navigate bus systems or public transportation (if applicable) will be important. Use a scaffolding technique, where you demonstrate basic skills, allow your child to replicate them with supervision, and then add on more complex or advanced skills as they progress. You may also consider creating social stories, checklists or algorithms around these new responsibilities that your child can take with them to college.
Many colleges and universities also have ASD-specific programs to help support your son or daughter both academically and socially. Making sure to look into these options and apply to them (if required) ahead of time. Similarly, if your child has an IEP or 504 plan, these can transition into college-level accommodations. Ensuring that your child’s testing is up to date is also a key part of this process as most colleges and universities will want recent testing data. Contacting the school’s office of student support services to learn what their requirements are and what the process is to get the accommodations set up is important and something that you may need to do with your child. If your son or daughter is 18 or older, make sure that they sign the necessary releases of information that will allow you to also communicate with university staff as needed.
If your child sees a therapist at home, consider options for telehealth (if in the same state or allowed by the therapist’s licensing/credentials) or seek out referrals in your child’s new city. Most, if not all, colleges and universities have counseling centers on campus that offer both individual therapy as well as group therapy options. The session number per student might be limited though, so identifying clinicians in the local community is also a great idea. Also, if your child takes regular medications, make plans to have a large enough supply, transfer the prescriptions to a pharmacy on or near campus, or look into mail-order delivery. If your son or daughter will be picking up their medications on their own for the first time, practice going to the pharmacy with them.
Transitioning to a Job
If your son or daughter is transitioning to a job, utilize resources from your local school district. She or he may have options to take interest inventories that may help point him or her in the direction of a job or work environment they may be interested in. Public schools also have specific transition planning for students with IEPs. Job training resources through the school district or MichiganWorks can be an option to help build skills and identify potential jobs. Helping your son or daughter to be realistic about the number of hours he or she feels they can work, whether he or she wants a public-facing or behind the scenes job, and what level of supervision he or she will require is important. Discussions around managing finances, contributing at home financially and/or through chores will help clarify expectations for your adult child and the changing relationship you may have with them as they age.
Additional Resources and Relevant Websites for Adolescents and Adults with ASD/CI/DD
Community Mental Health Oakland County https://www.oaklandchn.org/
Autism Alliance of Michigan (call to get resource information sometimes better than navigating their online system) https://autismallianceofmichigan.org/
Living and Learning Enrichment Center (www.livingandlearningcenter.org) 248-308-3592
OUCARES at Oakland University (http://www.oakland.edu/oucares/): for Adult social groups and employment skills 248-370-2424
On My Own: Independent living resources for adults (https://onmyownofmi.org/)
MORC: Services for individuals with physical and intellectual disabilities in Oakland County (https://www.morcinc.org/)
Community Living Services: https://www.comlivserv.com/
The ARC of Oakland County: Non-profit that focuses on advocacy and community participation for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (https://thearcoakland.org/)
Michigan Rehabilitation Services: https://www.michigan.gov/leo/bureaus-agencies/mrs
Possible places to find additional support:
Friendship Circle: https://www.friendshipcircle.org/
SAIL (group of parents in the area looking for living solutions for their adult children with special needs): https://sailhousingsolutions.org/
Beyond the Winter Blues: What is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How can we Fight It?
The winter months can be tough. The colder weather and shorter days can make normal tasks feel extra difficult during this time. Many people feel like they are running on empty or they might have a hard time participating in the activities they normally enjoy. It could seem even harder to focus on work we need to get done. These all can be symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a more intense version of the “Winter Blues,” that can impact our functioning this time of year.
Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that is associated with the season, most commonly winter. It’s very biologically driven, associated with changes in our brains and bodies that occur during winter. Individuals with SAD often experience the onset of symptoms during the fall, as days get shorter and there is less sunlight. The shortening of days and lack of sunlight impact parts of the brain that affect our “sleep-wake cycle”, or circadian rhythm, and our mood. Researchers have even found that levels of melatonin, a hormone associated with our sleep patterns, are associated with SAD symptoms.
Seasonal Affective Disorder, just like other depressive disorders, manifests in a variety of ways, so individuals’ symptoms may vary. Some of the symptoms of SAD include excessive tiredness, increased anxiety and feelings of guilt/hopelessness, decreased ability to focus, social withdrawal and loss of interest in activities you might normally enjoy. Depression is not just sadness that comes and goes, but rather, a shift in overall mood and functioning, which can even include feeling low to no emotion. And just like other forms of depression, SAD can occur on its own, or be triggered by other life events or stressors. .
5 Ways to Combat the Winter Blues
There are many things you can do on your own to help fight off the winter blues or SAD. It all starts by encouraging mental wellness and mindfulness during these tough times.
1. Keep Engaging in Activities You Normally Enjoy
When dealing with depressive symptoms, it can be very easy to avoid participating in our regular activities. To combat SAD, we have to go against our instincts to hibernate and continue to participate and engage in the activities that normally bring us joy. This allows us to counter social withdraw and isolation, and continue to push positive neurochemicals such as endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine.
2. Take Care of Your Physical Wellness
There is a direct link between physical and mental wellness. When our bodies feel good, it helps our minds feel good too. So as the season hits hard, it is important to address both. Some ways to address your physical wellness are eating healthy, well-balanced meals, decreasing use of alcohol and drugs (yes! Including caffeine!), exercising for at least twenty minutes each day, and getting enough sleep. Be sure to attend regular check ups with your primary care physician and follow their recommendations as well.
3. Take Advantage of the Sun When You Can
We feel happier and more focused when we are able to get consistent sunlight, as the sun impacts the parts of the brain that control our mood and circadian rhythm. It is especially helpful to get sun when you wake up in the morning, as this is a great way to jumpstart your body and your day. It can be as simple as a short walk outside in the morning that will leave you feeling more energized and ready for the day. If you see the sun peak out – try to spend time outside or by a bright window. Physicians even prescribe special lights that mimic sunlight (without the skin damage) for SAD patients… ask your primary provider if you think this might benefit you.
4. Talk to Your Family and Friends: You Are Not Alone!
Depression and the winter blues can make us feel very isolated, and often we will isolate ourselves when we are feeling down. Connecting with friends and maintaining an active social life can decrease our risk for social isolation and encourage positive communication. Friends and family want to help us when we are feeling down, but they are not mind readers! By communicating how we are feeling with friends, we are able to receive the social support we need.
5. Seek Treatment As Needed
Don’t wait until things get bad to seek help. If you or a loved one are experiencing symptoms of seasonal affective disorder for a prolonged period of time, reach out to a professional for help. It is better to seek help before crises come up so that we are equipped with the tools to handle hard times before they happen.
Conclusion
Depression is not something we can ‘just snap out of.’ It takes time and effort, and eventually day by day, we begin to feel better. There is relief and there is hope. Reach out today if you or a loved one are experiencing symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder and would like to begin treatment.
Going Beyond Resolutions: Cultivating Change Through Gratitude
It’s that time of year when people are setting intentions and goals for the new year. One important way to transition from the past year into the next is to consciously build or create more positive thoughts and actions. We often think of these as resolutions, but if we look deeper into what supports positive change, we can move beyond resolutions and into lasting positive change.
Rooted in Gratitude
Positive thoughts and actions are often rooted in our experience of gratitude. Research has shown the important benefits of gratitude to our overall mental health, motivation, and physical health. While our minds naturally notice and focus on the negative to keep us safe and aware of our surroundings, this tendency can burden us with anxiety, depression and stop us from starting positive behaviors. However, with practice you can notice more of the good in your life. It doesn’t have to be a big undertaking to teach your mind to experience gratitude regularly. It’s more about short periods of consistency over time. When we notice what brings us a sense of gratitude, we tend to DO more that brings us that unique and wonderful feeling.
Set up short moments of gratitude practice each day
The first step is, of course, upping the frequency that we consciously attend to gratitude. Regularly building the habit of recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life, no matter how big or small, helps build happiness, self-esteem, and keeps you in the present moment. You don’t have to spend a long time focusing on gratitude to get its benefits. You could add it into your morning or bedtime routine or take a break during the workday to reflect. Possible ways include spending a few minutes listing three good things that happened today. It could be little things like someone holding the door for you, noticing how beautiful the sunrise is, getting a text from a friend or bigger things like finishing a project you’ve been working on for a long time. You can make a conscious effort to notice when others are doing good things and tell them thank you. Each thank you builds something positive for you both. You can go on a walk and use your senses to notice the sights, smells, and feel of the sun or wind. Regular gratitude practice helps us connect with others, our surroundings and ourselves.
Change how you ask your family about their day
Another way to help yourself and your loved ones focus more on gratitude involves how you ask about their day. Rather than simply asking how their day was, try asking: What surprised you about your day? Who made you feel cared about today? Who did you help today? What made you laugh today? When did you feel calm, content or relaxed?
Questions like this may lead to better conversations rather than getting the typical “fine” or “it was good” response. Questions like these can encourage us to share and reflect on the good, training us to scan for the positive in our days. It can help balance any negative things that happen, which are also important to talk about. It can be so easy to get into the pattern of venting or focusing on the bad with our loved ones. These questions challenge us to reframe the way we reflect on our day.
Change the questions you ask yourself
While building conversations around the good things that happen day to day with our loved ones, it’s also important to be aware of what we are training our own brains to focus on. Our words matter. Not just with others, but also with ourselves! Our internal dialog can easily get stuck in negative spirals or repeatedly place a distorted emphasis on what went wrong. When we focus solely on what might or did go wrong, we aren’t focused on what we did do, or could do right. To break a negative thinking cycle, try asking yourself: What did I learn in the situation? What would I do differently if I had it to do all over again? Focusing on gratitude often helps us set an effective pathway forward for what we actually want, rather than just highlighting what didn’t work or what we’d like to avoid. If anxiety about what’s to come creeps in and you start thinking of all that can go wrong, ask yourself: What if it goes right? What is the more likely scenario? Will this matter in a week? In a month? In a year? You can use visualization to set a positive mindset for upcoming tasks and set yourself up for things to go well, rather than getting trapped in what could go wrong and worst case scenarios.
Conclusion
Making the intention to cultivate gratitude as a daily practice, in your life and your loved one’s lives, helps kick start the new year in a positive direction. Things will not always go the way you would like and situations are often out of our control, but building the practice of noticing what is going right helps motivate positive and effective changes, and give important boosts to your mood. Regular practice helps to reset our mindset, pulling us out of the negative spirals, and keeps us moving in a positive direction. Gratitude helps us feel connected and motivated!
Wishing you and your loved ones a happy and healthy 2025!
Contact us if you have a goal for 2025 that you would like help working towards!
Mental Health Influencers: Understanding & Managing the Impact of Social Media & Gaming on Youth Development
Do you have a tech zombie at your house? Do you walk into a room only to find a loved one bathed in the blue light of a screen, with glazed over eyes and a blank expression? Or maybe you have a tech gremlin. They appear calm and relaxed on screens but then become irritable or even intensely angry when it’s time to get off screens? Or perhaps you have a Youtube-ing, tech-toc-teen who appears to partake in social media light-heartedly but shows concerning signs of being influenced in negative ways. Chances are, your child is engaging in gaming or social media use, and you are wondering how this is influencing their mental health?
Screens & Executive Functioning
You’re not crazy… increased time on screens is associated with worse executive functioning. Executive functioning describes the brain processes that help guide goal driven behavior and self-regulation. So if your child seems to have more difficulty completing less-fun tasks such as picking up after themselves, getting ready to leave the house, or even homework, it might be because screen use has gotten out of balance. You might be yelling ‘OMG just get it done!’ in your household lately, you might want to re-examine the amount of tech use and its timing in your household. This balance is especially hard to attain when kids are on screens all day at school.
Rewards to Real Life
Most apps, games and social media are designed to manipulate the reward centers of our brain. When we get something we want, achieve a goal, or experience pleasure, positive neuro-chemicals and activity lights up our brain’s reward center. You can even see it on brain scans! When using apps, games and social media we get lots of little and big reward ‘pings’ in our brain without actually having to exert much effort. So when we re-enter the real world and need to do tasks that require sustained effort and result in more subtle or even long-term rewards, we may react with irritation, frustration, and even feelings of helplessness. Some kids and teens will even react with intense anger when it’s time to put down screens and re-enter the real world.
Identity Building from Social Media
Identity building in the era of apps, gaming and social media is tricky! Content is pushed via algorithms and is based not only on our patterns of viewing and consumption, but also our identifying factors such as age and gender. Our feeds tend to be narrowly based and can become dangerous echo chambers, leading to reduced exposure to people, ideas and information. Research clearly tells us that this information greatly impacts our thinking patterns, such as what we think of ourselves and others.
The Social Media Sads
Social Media has a complex relationship with mental health. It can provide a sense of connection and positive inclusion in groups, but it can also fuel fear of missing out, ‘should’ thinking, and intensely unrealistic expectations for everything from looks to socializing and material belongings.
I Am The Influencer Now
We know social media and gaming will continue to have a huge influence on our thinking, behavioral, emotional and social patterns. But if we are aware of these impacts, we can be conscious of having our own positive influence over learning to regulate screen use in our own family and household.
Here are some tips to consciously engage in screen time and social media use in your household:
- Model good tech use boundaries: Establish tech free zone in the house (e.g., dinner table? Bathroom? Bedrooms?), and tech check-in times (bed time? Study time?)
- Establishing the timing of when tech is allowed in your household is paramount to kids developing self-regulation skills around tech use. Fostering the mindset that necessary tasks get done before tech time helps hone expectations and self-regulation.
- Step away from screens. Establish a norm of setting phones/iPads down and turning screens off when engaging in work, chores, eating, etc. Create physical distance between screens and other essential activities.
- Build Self-worth and Identity through real-world competencies: Learning tik-tok dances is fun and makes us feel cool with our friends, but witnessing real-world impact increases positive self-worth and identity much, much more
- Shared Values: Take time to sit with your child and teen and consume social media or games together. Your input and perspective does influence their inner narrative
If you feel your child or teen is demonstrating concerning signs of too much screen use or social media consumption, contact us and speak with one of our specialists.
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