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Laying the Foundation: Encouraging Healthy Emotional Expression in Children

Written by: Alyssa Hedke, MA, TLLP

Starting in infancy children begin the chaotic (but delicate) process of experiencing and expressing emotions. How they choose to express those emotions may not always match what they are experiencing. A simple miscommunication can quickly turn into a chaotic moment, or even worse, a dysregulated kid. For example, children often express anxiety through irritability, control-seeking or tantrums.  As caretakers, we have to learn at turbo speed how to respond to our child’s needs for our survival. But as children grow, they continue to feel more complex emotions with limited knowledge on how to productively express and regulate themselves.

Feelings are a natural part of the human experience- they are our guidance and motivation system. But emotion regulation strategies, especially for intense emotions, do not necessarily develop naturally and must be purposefully taught and developed. There are natural and organic ways to incorporate conversations about feelings into our daily lives that are effective and beneficial to laying the foundation for healthy emotional regulation.

Model the I-Message

Laying the foundation begins with caretakers modeling what we want our children to say and do. As adults, we play a crucial role in modeling healthy emotional expression for children. We can  move our internal experiences to the surface and express them in a clear, structured pattern.. Expressing how you are feeling out loud and how you are processing and working through an emotion creates normalcy and a comfortability  in conversations around feelings. Using a reliable pattern or structure in communication teaches your child an important tool for regulation and expression. 

A commonly taught practice for children is the I- Message. The I-Message is a simple three sentence approach. You can learn to make I-Messages by filling in the blanks:

“I Feel_______”

“When_______” 

“I Need______  / Can You Please_____?”   

“I Feel  _______”:

The I-Message begins with taking ownership of our emotions and normalizing the experience  by speaking in the first person. An example would be saying “I felt angry” instead of “They made me angry”. No one makes us feel any emotion. We all have feelings and it’s natural to feel them! It’s beneficial as adults to include conversations about all feelings; especially feelings that may get glossed over with kids in conversation like embarrassment, guilt, shame, shyness, and nervousness. This helps children be more comfortable approaching adults about uncomfortable or distressing situations. 

“When ______”:

Even though no one made us feel an emotion, it’s important to talk about how an interaction contributed to us feeling an emotion. It’s important to tell others how their actions affect us.  Instead of saying, “Jack made me angry when he didn’t include me”,” try saying this;I felt angry when I think I’m being left out.”  

“I Need _____/ Can You_____”:

Lastly, advocate for what you need in the moment which teaches more emotional regulation and problem solving skills!  An example of this can sound like,I needed to take a few breaths. I am going to call Jack and set something up for us to hang out soon. That will make me feel better.”  Or, “Can you please talk with me next time this situation happens so we can solve the problem together?” Modeling the link between an emotion and the resulting choice you make is very powerful for children to see, hear and witness.  

By modeling this pattern of communication over and over again, across many situations our children learn that emotions are a normal and important piece of solving problems, getting their needs met, and having healthy relationships. 

Full disclosure – this process is more challenging with kiddos who feel emotions intensely! We would love to help support you to use this, and other skills in your child’s emotional development. 


Schedule an appointment with an MBH clinician today!

Balancing the Joy and Stress of the Holidays

Written by: Alyssa Hedke, MA, TLLP
Edited by: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Pumpkin spice is a distant memory as we transition to peppermint mocha to energize our bodies full steam ahead into the holiday season.  The holidays are marketed as the “most wonderful time of the year”.  Odds are many agree with that sentiment. But, as we know this time of the year can bring both joy and stress. Nothing reminds me more of this delicate balance of emotions than the festive family picture. They are shared with family and friends through social media posts and holiday cards. They showcase families in their finest attire being silly, smiling, and looking lovingly into a camera on their best behaviors. We see the picture perfect family basking in the holiday season in all its glory. What we don’t see is the leadup to the picture perfect portrait. 

We do not hear siblings arguing amongst themselves. We do not hear disgruntled parents bribing their children to wear something other than their princess dress and crocs. We do not see parents frantically running out of the house 15 minutes behind schedule and sweating in their color coordinated outfits mom spent hours researching and putting together.  But, families do it every year. Why?  Because as much stress as the experience causes, we also know the picture will bring us joy. So, how do we manage the holidays knowing we will experience joy and stress together? There are strategies that we can all use to feel resilient and in control at the intersection of holiday cheer and stress.

Find Balance and Execute  

There are numerous wonderful experiences to be had with friends and family in such a short season of celebration. Saying yes to every invite may sound like a wonderful way to connect with your loved ones but it can become draining on your time, resources, and energy. Plan ahead and be realistic with how much time you would like to reserve for yourself and for others. Decide on how many events you feel comfortable attending during a week that will provide yourself and family with both holiday cheer and down time to relax and recharge.   Evaluate the needs of your family and align events that are geared towards your needs. A quiet evening at home watching a movie can be just as memorable as elaborate get-togethers or ceremonies.  

Set Realistic Expectations 

Setting realistic expectations during the season can help manage how we view and enjoy them! Expecting everyone to be filled with holiday cheer and get along  with no setbacks to occur (for an entire evening) may be unrealistic. When we are expecting children to test limits and challenges to occur, it can help us feel in control and prepared to manage them as they arise. Making a mental list of what you hope to experience during an event, as well as what would be reasonable limitations helps us to enjoy bright moments while making room for realistic challenges. 

Take Care of Yourself!  

It may sound silly to say, but it’s important to take care of ourselves to feel well prepared to navigate our emotional responses! Meeting our basic physical needs impacts our overall mental health a great deal. Get consistent sleep, engage in physical movement, and balance meals and water intake. When we are meeting our needs, we can regulate our emotions and reactions easier in times of stress. For instance, sleep has a huge impact on our mood. You may be short-tempered and vulnerable to stress if we’re not getting consistent quality sleep, moving our bodies, and fueling our bodies to feel good.  If needed leave holiday celebrations early – it’s okay to do that! Give yourself permission to care for yourself!  

Seek Help 

As always- reach out! We’re here to help if you’re 

      Experiencing more mental health difficulties during the holiday season

      Navigating the “first” holidays without loved ones

      Feeling like stress is preventing you from enjoying the holidays 

      Interested in learning strategies to build resilience and balance at the intersection of holiday joy and stress! 

 


Don’t face holiday struggles alone. Contact us and speak with one of our dedicated clinicians.

Keeping Away the Winter Blues

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

Now that the days are getting shorter, colder, and the sun is shining less, sadness may creep into our daily mood more often. In fact, it’s not uncommon for many of us to begin to feel ‘the winter blues’ this time of year.

However, some experience more intense feelings known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD.  This is a form of depression that lasts for a specific season of the year, typically the winter months, and goes away the rest of the year. During this time a person may experience the following symptoms: loss of interest in activities they typically enjoy, feeling sad most of the day, feeling easily fatigued, having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, and/or increased feelings of hopelessness or guilt.  If your winter blues are more intense, like described above, and have occurred for at least two winters, you may have SAD. There is research supporting treatment for SAD, so be sure to reach out to us if your winter blues have reached this level of intensity, we are happy to explain more and want to help.

To help combat the winter blues or SAD, the following research supported tips can help:

1. Get as much sun as possible

Exposure to less sunlight is one reason this season can be especially hard on us. Sunlight is known to affect areas of the brain that regulate mood and the sleep-wake cycle, as well as memory functioning. We feel happier and more ‘mentally sharp’ when we are getting consistent sunlight. One effective strategy to keep away the winter blues is to try to get sunlight shortly after you wake up.  You can sit by the window while you eat breakfast or open the curtains and blinds after you wake up. Winter outdoor activities and sports can also help us get our daily allotment of rays. Even just a 15 minute walk has a positive impact on mood. Also, many people use a light therapy box to mimic outdoor light. This type of light may cause a chemical change in the brain that lifts your mood and helps decrease the feelings of tiredness and sleeping too much. Typically, a person using light therapy will sit in front of the light box first thing in the morning for a short period of time.  Before deciding to start light therapy, it’s best to talk with your health care provider first. 

2. Keep active and moving

Physical movement helps our brain produce neurotransmitters that support positive mood. However, as it gets chilly, our physical activity often reduces. As mentioned above, there are plenty of winter activities that can keep you active. Walking or hiking to take in the fall colors or snow-covered trees, skiing, ice skating, or snowshoeing are all great winter activities in Michigan. If being active in the cold isn’t your thing, there are plenty of opportunities for indoor activities: look for sports teams at your local community center, get a gym membership, start practicing yoga, or take a dance class. Any way to get exercise and keep your body moving will help destress and increase your endorphins for a boost of positive feelings.

3. Maintain connections and social support

Research indicates relationships with good communication, shared experiences and regular time spent together positively impact our moods and can make it less likely for the winter blues to turn into depression for you or your children. During the winter months it’s not uncommon to want to stay in and be less active. However, that can make us feel more isolated and make us feel even more down.  Plan outings 15-60 days out to ensure you don’t isolate. Keep up with friends and let them know if you are feeling down. People around us often don’t realize or know how we are feeling, but care and want to help.

4. Stick to basics

Eating healthy and getting enough sleep are under-appreciated for maintaining your mental health. The fall season brings copious amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables to farmers markets and is a good time to try a new recipe or two. Making sure you’re eating regular meals and trying to stick to a balanced diet as much as you can during the holidays can help. Family meals are a great time to connect and catch up with each other. Involving children in meal planning or cooking with them can teach them important skills and connect. Getting sunlight first thing in the morning can help stabilize your circadian rhythm, stopping melatonin production to maintain regular sleep and wake times and get you more Vitamin D. Placing an importance on getting enough sleep can help with the fluctuations in mood and help regulate your emotions. It’s hard to be at our best for friends and family when we are not taking care of our physical and emotional needs.

5. Reach out sooner rather than later

If the winter blues last longer than 2 weeks or significantly impact you or your child’s functioning with friends, at school or work, or at home, it’s time to get real support or guidance. We encourage people to reach out before a crisis occurs, so that when difficulties arise, you or your child already have coping strategies and support in place.


If these activities do not help, or your symptoms worsen, contact us or talk to your health care provider.

Summer Camp Shoutout: MBH Empowerment & Social Skills Infographics

Dr. Jessica, Anastasia and Rachel did an amazing job teaching our campers empowerment and social skills. Our campers were engaged, exited and energetic! It was so fun to see our staff work with your kids to integrate their creativity and kindness with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness skill building.

If you missed out, or your camper needs any reminders, our skill building infographics are below:

 

Super Social Summer Boys Group Infographic

 

 

Girl Strong! An Empowerment Group Infographic

Healing from Tragedy & Trauma: What Comes Next?

Written by Dr. Darren Jones, PhD, LP & Dr. Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Healing Trauma

Dr. Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP
Dr. Darren Jones, PhD, LP

After a tragedy or traumatic event occurs it can be difficult to know what to do next and when to seek additional support. Many individuals experience intense distress right after the event while some individuals experience little to no distress in the early days after a trauma, only to find the effects present themselves later on and seem to linger. Given the wide range of responses to traumatic experiences, it’s helpful to know the  typical responses immediately following a tragedy or traumatic event, as well as signs that it might be a good idea to seek professional support. Read below to also learn what effective treatment for traumatic stress looks like, what questions to ask your potential therapist, and to gain more resources for you or your loved ones.

What is a ‘normal’ response to a traumatic event?

Immediately following a tragic or traumatic event you may…

  • Experience troubling memories that repeatedly enter your mind even when you are trying not think about them (intrusive thoughts or rumination)
  • Feel on edge, and have difficulty sleeping and paying attention
  • Feel mentally foggy and have trouble thinking clearly or remembering things
  • Have strong emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, or guilt that flow from one to the next quickly, or happen at the same time at an overwhelming intensity
  • Have blunted, or less intense emotions than usual
  • Feel pulled to engage in highly distracting activities and even unhealthy coping strategies
  • Want to avoid things, places, people and sensory experiences that remind you of the event
  • Isolate yourself from others more than usual
  • Have thoughts that amplify perception of potential risk; your thinking patterns might be looking out for danger and risky situations and over interpret potentials risks
  • Feel highly stressed or irritated about things that typically would not bother you

These are a normal reactions to an abnormal event, and for most people these symptoms go away on their own within a few days or weeks.

  • However, symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may develop in some people who experience a traumatic event
  • Anyone can develop PTSD at any age and in some cases the symptoms begin many months or even years after the traumatic experience

Who might experience traumatic stress as a result of a tragedy or traumatic event?

  • Those present at the tragedy or traumatic event
  • Those who were not immediately present but feared for their safety or the safety of others
  • Parents who feared their children were in danger
  • Those with elevated risk due to one or multiple Adverse Childhood Experiences or previous traumatic experience(s)

What are signs or symptoms that indicate more support is needed?

  • The above reactions and experiences continue after a month or so
  • Certain places, sensory experiences, people or things that remind you of the tragedy or trauma cause you to experience heightened physical and emotional responses that get in the way of your everyday life
  • Avoidance of things, people, places or sensations that might remind you of the event
  • You find yourself reliving the experience through upsetting memories or nightmares about the event
  • You notice an increase in negative thoughts and feelings
  • Ongoing sadness, anxiety or anger that persists several months after the event
  • Feeling on edge and unsafe weeks, months or years after the event
  • You are having difficulties at work or school
  • Relationships seem strained or it is harder to feel connected with others

What are the treatments for supporting healing after tragedy or trauma?

There are several effective, evidence-based treatments for adjustment after a tragedy or trauma, as well as the disorder known as PTSD. Although there are many approaches to treating traumatic stress, research indicates that the two most effective psychotherapeutic treatments for these difficulties are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Prolonged Exposure. While treatments might feel scary to engage in, your clinician should be able to tailor your treatment to your needs and respect the pace at which you need to go to feel safe.

Treatments for traumatic stress often include:

  • Working to reduce the power the experience has over your thinking, feeling and behavioral patterns
  • If needed, working to regain a sense of control and safety in your everyday life
  • Understanding and address changes in your nervous system due to the event
  • Addressing how the event(s) have affected how your view of yourself and the world
  • A respect for and awareness of your individual identity and life experiences as well as cultural and religious beliefs

Medications can also effectively treat some of the symptoms of traumatic stress. Some people find that a combination of both psychotherapy and medication treatment for traumatic stress is most effective. Your psychologist or therapist can work with your physician to help support and guide this process if this feels like a good route for you.

What questions should I ask when seeking treatment after a tragedy or trauma?

Treating trauma is a specialty in behavioral health and not all providers have the appropriate training and experience. Ask your provider about their training and experience.

  • Ask a potential provider if they specialize in treating adjustment after tragedy and trauma, or PTSD and inquire about what evidence-based treatments they offer.
  • If they do not have a background or training in treating PTSD it is important to move on to other providers that have that specialization. General ‘talk therapy’, and/or ‘supportive counseling’ are not effective treatments of traumatic stress.

References:

https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/stress

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/what/ptsd_basics.asp

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/coping-with-traumatic-events

 

Responding to Mass Violence: Resources for Parents, Teens, Kids, and Teachers

We extend our deepest sympathies to all who were affected by the violent events at Oxford High School. In the aftermath of a tragic event it can feel difficult and overwhelming to provide the needed support and care.  Below are resources to help guide families, teens, school staff and providers through this time. Please reach out for additional support.

Resources in Response to the Oxford High School Shooting

National Child Traumatic Stress Network has developed resources to help families and communities:

·          For Teens: Coping After Mass Violence

·          Tips for Parents on Media Coverage

·          Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth after the Recent Shooting (Also in Spanish)

·          Tip Sheet for Youth Talking to Journalists about the Shooting

·          Talking to Children about the Shooting

·          Helping Youth After a Community Trauma: Tips for Educators

·          Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

·          Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

·          Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

·          After the Injury—website for families with injured children

·          Health Care Toolbox—website for pediatric health providers working with injured children

Psychological First Aid

The NCTSN also has resources for responders on Psychological First Aid (PFA). PFA is an early intervention to support children, adolescents, adults, and families impacted by these types of events. PFA Mobile is an app that can be accessed for free on Apple and Android mobile devices. Additional PFA resources include:

·          Psychological First Aid for Schools (PFA-S) – field operations guide

·          Providing PFA-S: For Health-Related Professionals – handout

·          Providing PFA-S: For Principals and Administrators – handout

·          Providing PFA-S: For School Support Staff – handout

·          Providing PFA-S: For Teachers – handout

Disaster Hotline

SAMHSA has a Disaster Distress Helpline – call or text 1-800-985-5990 (for Spanish, press “2”) to be connected to a trained counselor 24/7/365.

Decoding Dyslexia

October 22, 2021

Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP  &  Alyssa Hedke, MA, TLLP

 

Dyslexia is tricky to spot! Although stereotypes of Dyslexia may conjure up visions of ‘reading backwards’ or ‘seeing numbers and letters reversed’,  that isn’t the way Dyslexia typically presents.  Read our info sheet below to learn more about early signs of Dyslexia, testing, and treatment.

 

 

Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

 

Alyssa Hedke, MA, TLLP